No good-byes

The day of my first wedding anniversary came and went, thankfully, without incident. It was a little rough at a few moments throughout the day, but overall, it really wasn't as bad as a I was expecting. Maybe it was because I kept myself busy. Maybe it as because everyone else was a little too distracted to even remember what day it was. 
Whatever the reason, I made it through the day without shedding buckets of tears of railing at the walls of my apartment. I lived a normal day, did normal things, thought normal thoughts. They were just the thoughts of someone who was living another life than she had vowed to be living the year before on that very day.
It's amazing, isn't it, how much life can change in the blink of an eye? 
It's almost incomprehensible.
Sometimes that's a good thing, sometimes it's a bad thing. And sometimes, we don't know the difference until years later when we can look back and realize just how many other parts of our lived were effected by that blink-of-an-eye change.
So now, it's three days later, and life has again taken another turn. 
I still haven't even begun to write that obituary for my grandmother. Not that I didn't fully intend to fulfill that request when the time came. 
But things are looking much better, and the grandmother I am so unprepared to see leave this world is slowly improving, and we're all praying that she holds on awhile longer.
And not just holds on, but recovers. She might not ever be the Grammie I grew up with, but if she gets some of that life back, some of that...wonderful spirit that makes her Ricki, then I'll be happy. 
There are still things I need to learn from her––silly little songs whose tunes and lyrics I only partially know. Strange little stories that she hasn't passed along yet. Recipes she hasn't scribbled down.
Memoreis she hasn't made yet.
I'm grateful she's coming coming back. The world isn't ready to say good-bye, and neither am I.