Unlisted

I have to admit, I'm feeling a bit off-track with the blog posts. It's been my goal to be much more regular about this whole endeavor, so as not to disappoint all of my faithful readers who wait with baited breath to see what insight I will next impart (hah!). But somehow, the good intention falls by the wayside when my day gets started, and I end up knocking it down on the priority list. Way, way down. And so, I feel this self-imposed condemnation about the blog not posted, the unchecked "To Do." The unmet obligation that no one really knows about, other than me.

There are many things in life that are like that––items on our unofficial To Do lists, tasks and goals and promises that really, if we haven't ticked off and inked a line through by day's end, would make no difference in the grand scheme of things. But we don't live in the grand scheme of things. We live in our own frame of reference, our own expectations of ourselves. So those un-completed things loom large in our minds and munch away at our self-worth. Rather than being things that elevate us, they knock our knees out from under us and make us feel as though we are somehow lacking. We begin to link our identity to the so-called failures, and we allow ourselves to listen to the screaming voice of condemnation that plays on an unrelenting loop in our minds. 

As the end of January approaches, I'm sure there are plenty of things that all of us face on that list. For some of us, it's the broken Resolutions that were so enthusiastically penned at the beginning of the month. For some of us, its simpler tasks, little menial things that just keep getting pushed aside "until there's more time." Whatever the case may be, the important thing to remember is this: You are not your list.

No one looks at you and sees that you didn't make it all the way through that book of poetry you promised your sister you'd read by the end of the week. No one sees that you planned to vacuum the baseboards yesterday, but you were just too tired to tackle it when you finally stumbled in the door after a stressful day at work. Your "failings" are not streaming across your forehead, on display for all the world to see like a ticker tape. They see you––just you.

And you are not your list.

You are you, and you are beautiful.